Random Happenings in Transformers: Prime
by Crush48
Summary: Find out different things the Autobots and Decepticons do on and off the battlefield! Megatron remembering the Glory days of 1985! Someone pranks Arcee! Give suggestions! Set in the Prime universe! Will contain a lot of G1 references! If you suggest something from other TF universes, describe what happens!
1. Chapter 1

**Random (May or may not be One-Shots), Some of 'em based off of the recent 26 hour takeover of The Hub by Megatron. Enjoy or whatever. If you like it, review. If you hated it, review anyway. **

Megatron stalked in his usual linebacker way towards the bridge.

"Soundwave!"

The communications' officer did not have use for emotions, but he knew he was caught doing something he shouldn't be. No point in trying to erase the evidence. Megatron already noticed it.

Megatron growled in annoyance to stand just off to Soundwave's side. "What have I told you about watching my home movies?" he interrogated. He was not amused in the slightest, but then the Dark Lord noticed what was playing specifically on the monitor. His annoyance at Soundwave's action was replaced with nostalgia.

"Hm. I looked so young back then," he said in a far away tone of voice, his eyes now focused on the screen. GEEWUN Megatron was displayed on the monitor, shooting at something. Most likely it was Prime or one of the Autobots. Megatron remembered those days. He and the Decepticons used to attack any location that had a source of energy, and converted them into Energon cubes. Speaking of converting...

"Ha. Soundwave! Remember when you transformed into a Tape-Deck?" he questioned with mirth. Soundwave didn't bother to respond. Coincidentally, the video was at the segment where a younger and blockier Soundwave transformed into just that, a Tape Deck. Looking around the bridge nonchalantly, Megatron thought back on those days. They were just some young punk robots in 1985. Now that he thought of it, he still didn't understand why he decided to scan a pistol of all things. Granted, his former gun mode was powerful, but he couldn't even control his own frame at that point.

_Well, that's why I have this glorious Jet mode now isn't it. _

And of course, he could not let Soundwave's sneaking around go unpunished.

"Oh, and Soundwave! The 80's called! They want their technology back!" Megatron said smoothly before guffawing and then downright cackling as he slowly stalked his way away from the bridge and to the common's room.

"And turn that off! I don't need to be reminded of the days I didn't have scars on my face!" the Dark Lord added with annoyance.

Soundwave did as instructed, but not without a thought entering his processor as he typed.

_Aft-hole._


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: Remember to leave suggestions of what you want to see next! Prime Universe FTW! Next up is Arcee!**

Ratchet flinched when he heard a resounding crash than a war-cry of frustration. Ratchet turned his helm to the sound of the ruckus, ceasing his tinkering with the Groundbridge control panel, to understand what he was hearing. He blinked once, then turned back to his tinkering.

"So help me, these 'bots are just getting louder and rowdier," he mumbled, trying to remember what the heck he was typing. Staring at the screen, his train of thought returned to him and he began to continue the lines of code he was working into the controls.

Flinching again, the crashing sound resounding much louder this time, Ratchet was forced to pivot around to the direction of the noise. This time, he was definitely displeased, looking as though he were trying to cease any future disruptions through force of will. Unfortunately, just as he was about to turn around, an extremely rude cybertronian curse sounded from the hallway and then angry footsteps. Okay, this was getting ridiculous.

"Arcee! Will you keep that noise down!" the medic roared, abandoning his work station. He shook his head in annoyance as he made his way to the hallway. Honestly! He expected such ruckus from Bulkhead and Wheeljack playing lob ball!

"Arcee! I-"

"Who! Did! This!"

Ratchet's words died in his throat. Dare he say it? She looked...girly. Well more girly than standard for her.

"Ratchet! Don't just stare at me like that! Who did this!" Arcee demanded, her arms splayed out in an act of frustration. Everywhere her armor was blue, it was tinted in differeng shades of pink. And the pink trim lines on her helm, wrists, and shin guards were chrome-white.

"Uh..." Ratchet stuttered. This was not what he expected, walking into the hallway. Clearing his throat, he professionally folded his hands behind his back.

"Why don't you just take a decontamination bath?" Ratchet asked, attempting to avoid eye contact. Arcee's optic twitched, unimpressed with his-in hindsight- unintelligent query.

"Don't think I've tried that!?" She demanded, throwing her arms up in added frustration and embarrassment. "This is just...UGH!" She finished incoherently, turning her back to him.

"WOAH! Arcee! What happened to you!?" a deep voice asked suddenly, originating behind Rathet.

"I believe Arcee thinks someone painted her...pink," Ratchet answered with a shrug, turning to regard the baffled wrecker.

"So that's where all that noise was coming from. I thought Smokescreen was trying to drive in the hallway!" Bulkhead nearly shouting out the last part of his sentence. He had a hand cupped around his mouth to project his voice, and Arcee knew what he was trying to do. Incensed, the femme marched towards Bulkhead and jabbed a finger at his chest.

"You did this, didn't you!?" Arcee interrogated, scowling and almost downright snarling at Bulkhead. His eyes widened at Arcee's sudden violent reaction and accusation of his impeccable personality.

"Wait, Arcee! I didn't do that!" He reasoned, raising his arms in a surrendering gesture. "Why would I wait millions of years to pull some prank?"

"I dunno! You were cracking a lot of jokes when I was stuck to your back fighting for the Polarity Gaunlet!" she roared angrily. Bulkhead reared back in a 'Yeesh' expression.

"I'm telling you! It wasn't me!"

"Awright, Bulkhead! You makin' fun of my driving skills!?"

Arcee, Bulkhead, and Ratchet turned their heads to Smokescreen, who had both hands on his hip.

"Cuz' we all know I have better handl-" Smokescreen stopped midspeech, seeing the odd situation in front of him. Ratchet stood awkwardly at the side of the hallway, Bulkhead was in the middle, and Arcee was close to him, with an accussing finger pointed at Bulkhead's chest.

"Wow, Arcee, lookin' classy there!" Smokescreen said with a smile. Arcee's surprised expression instantly became upset.

"It was you! I know it was you!" she accused hotly, stalking towards Smokescreen. Nervously, the sports car Autobot slowly stepped backwards. Arcee was looking kind of scary, even with the paint job.

"Woah, Woah. I didn't do that!" he defended, unconsciously moving with retreating steps, Arcee scowling even more.

"Why did you do it! What did I ever do to you!?" She shouted in anger. She turned around with a shake of her helm, making an off-color comment about newbies.

"Hey! You called me a green! With no experience!" He shouted instinctively before covering his mouth just as quickly. Uh-oh.

Arcee turned her head slowly. "So that's what this is about? Because _you're _new?" She asked dangerously.

"Do you even know _why _I stopped using pink in my paintjob _millions_ ofyears ago?" she continued, still walking forward, and Smokescreen beginning to fear for his well-being. And he had no answer, somehow annoying Arcee further.

"Pink is too noticeable, Springer says! Maybe you should try a color that isn't immature, Springer says!"

"Well, he wasn't wrong, right?" Smokescreen asked with a nervous laugh. Arcee's eyes widened in supreise at his tactless answer, before she scowled even deeper than she was before.

"Imma KILL you!" She roared, leaping at Smokescreen and knocking him over on his back. Smokescreen was yelling at her to chill out, while Arcee kept trying to punch his face. Ratchet and Bulkhead looked at each other, the same thought running through their processors.

Should one of them try to stop them-Namely Arcee-?

Nah, they both rather valued their self-interest at the moment. This went on for several seconds, with Smokescreen pleading for Arcee to stop and simultaneously begging for either of the other two mechs to step in and break it up.

No help was coming from them.

But luckily, Optimus Prime wheeled into the base, with Bumblebee close behind, the both of them just shifting into their biped forms.

"Arcee, I need a report from your most recent scouting mission," Optimus spoke as he neared the hallway. No response came, and e was wondering if she was currently out on another patrol. To his side, Bumblebee beeped something of a question.

"I hear it too, Bumblebee. Perhaps there is something urgent currently in the relic room?" He responded, thinking to himself of what that noise could be. Did Airachnid escape? Was she in a battle with one of the Autobots? At that last thought, Optimus quickened his steps, his right arm ready to shift into it's Energon Blaster.

Bumblebee's baffled beep voiced Optimus' confusion.

For one split and irrational second, he thought he saw Elita-1 attempting to strangle Smokescreen. But that was ridiculous. Elita-1 was nearly as tall as he was. And the armor was very different. He was at a loss for words at what he was seeing.

Ratchet and Bulkhead had noticed him first, and they stepped to the side to let him through. He hadn't moved though.

"Now I see," Optimus said softly, alerting Arcee and Smokescreen to the Prime's presence.

Both the femme and the Sports Car bot had expressions similar to a 'deer caught in headlights' as the earth expression went. They both watched him warily, with Arcee's hands still wrapped around Smokescreen's neck cables.

"This isn't what it looks like," Smokescreen squeaked. Still sore from the choke out he was being assaulted with by Arcee.

Optimus completely misinterpreted his statement.

"Your lovers' spat will have to wait. Arcee, I need the scouting report by the next cycle," Optimus said, a hint of amusement in his optics. Both Arcee and Smokescreen's eyes widened in horror at what he was insinuating. Arcee was still on top of Smokescreen, and they both looked at each other, back at Optimus, and then Arcee jumped off of Smokescreen, a look of disgust on her face.

"Wait, What!?"

Bumblebee was holding his sides as he followed Optimus into the commons room, his beeps sounding much like a digital guffaw.


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N:Okay, I had got one suggestion, but I am just waiting on the fellow user to elaborate so I can start it. Until then, next is Ratchet and Jack!**

"Hey, Ratchet?"

The medic blinked his optics, then stopped what he was doing on the computer monitor. Looking down at the internal balcony, he spotted Jack looking up expectantly at him. At least it was the raven-haired boy. Him or Rafael weren't as frustrating to be around as Miko.

"Yes, Jack?" Ratchet acknowledged, giving him his full attention.

"Do transformers have genders?" Jack asked, his expression that of curiosity. Ratchet scoffed internally.

"Jack, you should know that we are Autonomous Robotic Organisms, we don't have genders," he retorted evenly. He was beginning to type at the monitor again and noticed Jack look to his left.

At the other side of the room, Arcee was talking to Optimus in a very _feminine_ posture, with hand on her hip, and favoring a leg while standing. Jack had a puzzled expression on his face before looking back up at Ratchet. The Chief Medical Officer sighed internally before turning his attention back to Jack.

"But, you guys refer to the girl bots as 'she' and the guy bots as 'he'," Jack ventured, resting his arms on the railing. He was expecting a detailed explanation from the medic. He always enjoyed showing off his knowledge, but Ratchet surprised him this time around.

"Jack," he said, sighing again. "This is one of those enigmatic anomalies that shall never be explained," Ratchet said, turning back to the monitor. "Or could be explained," he added for good measure.

Jack sighed in defeat but still seemed dissatisfied somehow.

He looked at Arcee.

Then looked at Ratchet.

Then back at Arcee.

Then back to Ratchet again. "Ratchet, you guys look so human-like, even in the face. Honestly, you look like a buff guy in body armor and Arcee looks like a gal in body armor," the teen said frankly.

_Won't he just stop trying to figure this out, _Ratchet thought with a roll of his eyes. _Humans, honestly. _

"Jack, there is no explanation for this."

"But-"

"No explanation. None will be given," Ratchet interrupted Jack's disagreement. Still, Jack, pressed on.

"But-"

"Never."

From then on, Jack found out what Ratchet's poker face looked like. He looked again at Arcee with an unsatisfied expression. How could they not have genders. One looked like a girl, the rest looked like linebacker dudes. SImple as that. But whatever.

Ratchet shook his head as Jack walked away uttering an "Okay."

"Damn you, Hasbro," Ratchet uttered under his breath.


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N:To those of you wondering, two chapter ago, it was indeed Smokescreen that painted Arcee's body armor. Even I don't know how he managed to do that...Next up is a funny suggestion by Mr. Blu! It took me hours to figure out how to even start this situation. It was pretty funny XD. Hope you guys like it. **

Jack, for the life of him, could not figure out how this happened.

Moments ago, he was on his way to school in the spare car that he would borrow from his mom when Arcee and the other bots were busy. He was minding his business, driving his vehicle down the road.

Seriously, he was only a block away from the school when it happened.

Jack was steering the car onto a back road because of the heavy traffic. There were no available parking spots from his current position, and if he waited any longer, he'd be late for school. So after turning the corner, he reflected idly on how he was forced to avoid traffic on the off chance that he needed to use a _normal _car. To his right, the back of the school could be seen and-thank you, lady luck-vacant parking spaces.

"If I can just lock this car and get a move on..." he said to himself, turning the keys in the ignition to remove them, thus turning off the car. He made sure that the gear was in park and reached at the back seat to grab his bookbag.

Only thing was, his whole point of reference seemed to tilt at an angle. And he felt asthough his whole body was moving upward against gravity. He reached again for his bookbag, keen on ignoring the obviously strange sensation.

This time his bookbag rolled away from him. That didn't seem right. Looking through the window, he jumped back with a sudden sense of vertigo. He could see the top of the school...from his car.

"Oh no..." Jack intoned nervously. None of the Autobots were fliers, and he doubted that the U.S. Government needed to do a helicopter extraction out of the blue. Leaning against the arm rest of the passenger seat, he reached for the closed sunroof. Whatever was dragging him and the whole car through the air could possibly be seen from there. With a shaky breath, he hesitated. Did he even want to see what was carrying him? He could drop to the ground and probably die after trying to look.

"Crap, let me text them," he encouraged himself, struggling to pull the phone out of his pocket. No time to talk. He wasn't up to calling. The sense of vertigo was still there.

**Kidnaped by HeliCoptr need help!**

Suddenly he felt the slight sense of vertigo disappear altogether when he felt the car hit solid ground again. Panicking, Jack quickly pulled the handle and pushed open the door. Falling out of the vehicle with a tumble, he was surprised to see the car relatively undamaged. With an irrational sigh of relief, he was relieved to note that his mom wouldn't get mad at him for a destroyed car.

"Hello, Jack," a voice drawled from some high distance. It was definitely feminine, but had a sultry, dangerous, and slightly metallic tone to it. His shoulders scrunching up to his neck in shock, he almost didn't want to turn around. He recognized that voice.

"Airachnid," Jack managed with a nervous gulp. His first reaction would be to run, but the simple fact persisted that _he had no idea where he was_. He was situated on a rock cliff, and there were tops of trees lining the unseen ground far below.

He turned away from the scary view of the cliff and turned to see Airachnid, a servo on her hip and a triumphantg smirk on his face.

"Look, if this is about the space ship, I had no choice. You were trying to kill me," Jack said, slowly backing away. He had to stop his movement. He could feel his foot beginning to step on thin air. So now he was stuck in between a fall to his death and the giant robot, who was probably going to kill him. Without warning, the tall femme grabbed the back of his shirt with a thumb and index finger, effortlessly raising him into the air.

"Why, Jack. I'm not here to _murder _you," she said, dangling him in the air like some shiny trinket.

"I am so relieved," Jack deadpanned sarcastically. Airachnid only smiled and walked into the cave, still carrying him by the back of his shirt. Once inside, Airachnid hung up the back of his shirt on a jagged, protrusing rock, effectively pinning him in the air, dangling by the bottom of his shirt.

"Believe me, I am _very _tempted to just remove your head right now," she said offhandedly, pacing slowly in front of him. Jack took a shaky breath. How was he to get out of this one? He could only hope the Autobots would get here in time. It was just a tad bit unnerving to hear someone talk about your dismembered head as though talking about lunch.

"But, I want to know what it is about you that makes Arcee tick."

She lost him there.

"Excuse me? What?" Jack couldn't help but blurt. What was she getting at? And while he was hanging from the rock by his shirt, it felt like a wedgie, except on his torso. Airachnid leaned closer to be face to face and brushed a finger across his cheek.

"I want you to tell me why Arcee keeps you around. Why she hasn't already lost her mind from losing two partners."

Airachnid continued to brush her fingers across his face. It wasn't painful at all, but it just felt so creepy. This was Airachnid, for pete's sake.

"What do you mean to her, hm?" She continued her line questioning, placing a finger under his chin to encourage him to look at her.

"I really don't know what you're getting at," Jack uttered nervously. He was becoming very uncomfortable. Not only would she not stop caressing his face with her hand, but she kept her optics on him with a knowing smile. The fact that there weren't any noticeable pupils on her eyes that he could see was making it all the more unnerving. He tried to draw back, unsuccessfully, when Airachnid leaned her face in closer, brushing her lips across Jack's.

He'd seen enough TV shows to know where this was going.

"Oh, god, I need an adult," Jack cried helplessly. This was so wrong (Oddly satisfying) but oh, so wrong! Airachnid hummed to herself as she kissed him full on the lips this time.

"But Jack," she drawled, caressing his face again with a finger. "I _am _an adult."

Seriously, he questioned inwardly. The first girl he kisses is an intergalactic, sociopath bounty-hunter that collects people's heads? Flattering, but this was all kinds of messed up.

"Woah, wait!" Jack demanded. Airachnid ceased her kissing but didn't stop brushing her fingers on his face. She eyed him questioningly.

"You think...there's a _thing _going on between me and _Arcee_?"

"Of course, Jack. Why else would she still have the will to battle?"

_Out of all the things_, Jack thought to himself with a mental sigh. Sure Arcee was an awesome Autobot. And he wasn't scared to think that she was hot. But come on, she's a giant robot from a planet not even in this solar system.

He just knew when certain things was simply implausible.

"Airachnid, you have got this _all _wrong. There is nothing going on, we're just friends," Jack explained desperately. Why was he even saying this to her? He held back a laugh that was threatening to break out when he thought this sounded like the conversation one would have with an Ex-Girlfriend.

In fact, that thought in turn started to terrify him.

"Can you let me down now?" Jack asked, forcing himself not to stutter. The Spider-bot only smirked maliciously and Jack did not think he was going to like what she was going to say next.

"I don't think so, Jack. At least not yet," she said deliberately, trailing her finger down his cheek, then to his chest and then down his torso.

_Oh crap._

Before anything else could be done, Jack was relieved to hear the sound of a GroundBridge activating. Arcee's voice was comparable to the great sound of a school bell signalling the end of the day. He was finally getting out of here!

"Looks like the cavalry has arrived," Jack retorted triumphantly. Airachnid had ceased brushing against his face and looked out through the cave. Sure enough, Arcee was quickly making her way up.

"Airachnid! Let go of Jack, now!" the blue femme thundered, training her blasters onto Airachnid. The purple and black femme grabbed Jack this time and picked him up off of the makeshift clothes hanger.

"You mean this Jack?" she asked innocently, shaking him in her grip. Arcee scowled even more than she already was.

"Now!" she repeated dangerously. Airachnid shook her head whilst making a 'tut' sound.

"Of course, dearest Arcee."

To Jack and Arcee's utter shock, Airachnid carried Jack to her face and passionately kissed him. Jack was struggling like mad to get out of her grip, but she wouldn't let go 'till she was done. Then she roughly dropped him on the ground from a safe height before casually walking past Arcee, who was too shocked to move, to stand at the mouth of the cave.

"Ta-ta, love birds. I hope we meet again Jack," she said with a wink.

Jack did not want to lift his face from the ground. He felt embarrassed, but also...he didn't even know. Airachnid had already transformed into her stealth helicopter and taken off.

"Jack? Are you...alright?" Arcee asked hesitantly. She was grateful he was face down. She didn't want him to see the metallic flush on her face.

"..."

Jack was silent for several moments. Arcee hovered over him, almost hesitant to try to pick him up. If anything, he almost looked dead from this angle. Until he spoke.

"That actually wasn't horrible," he managed to say.


End file.
